4.2M Q&A - Settling Down, Being A Feminist & Sleeping With An Ex

00:00:13What's happening people? Welcome back tothe show. It is a 4.2 million subscriberQ&A episode and as is tradition askedfor questions from Twitter and YouTubeand Instagram and there were lots. So,let's get into it.stealthing through 21. What's going onwith all these group episodes in thestudio? Yeah, I guess I kind of launchedthis studio and at no point actually gotto tell you that it was happening. Sortof unceremonious beginning. There was noribbon cutting thing. And uh I'm justhaving a lot of fun having multipleguests in the studio with me. I youknow, for a long time, Modern Wisdom'sbeen very serious, meaningfulconversations. me talking to worldexperts, you know, 1,100 episodes likethat. And I still love doing that, butsometimes it can feel a little bit likehomework when it's very serious all thetime. And these hang style episodes, theone that I did with Huberman, McCusker,and Sigura for me was one of the mostfun conversations I've ever had. Ithought that was awesome. I think thatthe episodes I do with George and Shawnhave been so much fun as well. Thedebate stuff is cool because it's notnecessarily people on opposite sides ofa discussion. One of the problems of

00:01:28most debates, at least for me on theinternet, is that it becomes a slangingmatch. Everyone's there as basically averbal blood sport to see who can [ __ ]who up the most. And you don't actuallyget to arrive at consensus at the end.What you get is a bunch of people whoshouted and you don't actually know whatthe conclusion is or the takeawaybecause no one's going to seed ground.No one ever says, "Oh, actually that'sthat's an that's an interesting insight.I never thought of that because theyknow that they're supposed to be inopposition. Whereas the conversationsthat I'm trying to put together arepeople who have slightly differingperspectives on the same topic. And thatmeans that maybe they can actuallydevelop each other's worldviews asopposed to it just being this likeBeyblade. Remember Beyblades where youlike gripped it and ripped it and itspan around and everybody got destroyed.In the end, everybody got destroyed. Idon't want that. Uh I'm just having alot of fun. I want to have a lot of funon the show, especially this year. Youknow, it took six months to build thisstudio and I love being here and I'm notgoing to do that and not invite myfriends around to hang out and have agood time and have a laugh. Also, if I'mbeing honest, I think that the sort ofgrind slop era of pushing people toalways always only ever really focus onpersonal development andself-improvement at the expense ofeverything else.

00:02:43I'm personally feeling a little bit offatigue with that and that's stillamazing for me in Horoszi to sit downand talk and get people to lock in. Butit's nice when there's like you you haveyour starter, your main course, and yourdessert. And the dessert's a little bitof a treat, right? I'm these are justtreats. I'm giving you a a a small it'sa canop. It's like a little dessertcanope. Every so often I'm just flickinglittle bits of chocolate sauce at you.And I'm having a lot of fun with them.I'm enjoying them. I think they rule. Ithink in the era of AI, people arealready drowning in a lot of informationand the number one use for LLMs and forchats are uh like coaching advice forpeople what they're going through.Do we need to have even more more ofthat or is it going to be nice to have abit of a safe space where people canjust relax and and listen and if I don'ttake notes of every single episode likeyou may not learn anything from thehuman sagura makoskar episode, right?like you genuinely may not learnanything from it, but you'll have a goodtime. And honestly, I think that'sthat's worth an awful lot. Anyway, I'mloving them. I'm really enjoying them. Ilike sitting down and having the seriousconversations, but I'm just I'm playingaround with new formats. I appreciateyou guys being patient. I I understandas well I'm

00:03:58probably going to lose someaudience members. There's some peoplewho just want to hear me and anotherperson do the, you know, dark furrowedbrow serious thing. And uh there's goingto be a some people are not going tolike it, but I've always followed myinstincts with the show. I've alwaysreally tried to just do what I wanted.Uh because if I'm having fun and I'menjoying it and it resonates with me, Ihave to assume that it will resonatewith you too or I hope it does. And uhthat's what I'm doing. That's my masterplan. My master plan is to have fun uhand to try and do stuff that'sdifferent. I don't know really of anyother shows or many of the shows thatare trying to put it together in thisway. and this feels like a a bit ofwhite space that I can move into which Iwant to because I enjoy it and also it'ssomething that I don't know maybe isdifferent. It's different. Maybe youcan't get it elsewhere. So that's mythat's my thinking. I hope you enjoy it.Uh I'm always open to feedback. So justcomment on stuff that you like, stuffthat you don't like, people you want tosee, people you don't want to. Uh I amgoing to try and put Neil deGrasse Tysonand Mark Norand on a round table. I'mgoing to try and put uh Eric Weinsteinwith uh Rick Glassman on a round tabletogether. Uh I'm going to try and doBert Chryser with Brian Johnson and justsee what h I'm going to pull a bunch ofpins on grenades,

00:05:13throw them in themiddle of that table that's right there.This is the same studio, but it's thesame room at least, by the way. Uh andalso, I'm sorry, the new studio thing,unceremonious launch.I should have I should have I shouldhave done a vlog. We kind of tracked itand then I went away on tour and then Icame back and did 10 episodes in 5 days.It was all a bit it was it was chaoticand stuff, but it's I I'll do a video.I'll do a video and I'll explain thisvision in full, but that's what I'mtrying to do. I really hope that youguys love it. Um I'm having a lot of fundoing these episodes. They get meexcited and I can still lock in do thewisdom core, you know, modern wisdomverse stuff. Still got that in thelocker. That'll still be coming. Thenthe debate things I think are fun aswell because it's not necessarily peopledisagreeing. I'm aware you might be madthat you didn't get the blood that youthought you would when you heard debate.Well, what's a debate if all of thepeople are agreeing? You go, well, theydon't fully agree and they get to buildon each other's arguments as opposed tojust tear them down. And that to mesuits my nervous system, but also feelslike a more productive way to have adiscussion with people to see seriouslywhat they can get out of it. So anyway,that's that's what I'm doing. That's mymaster plan. I hope you enjoy it.Iaro Dilva, my ex contacts me to sleepwith her, but she feels

00:06:28guilty about itthe next day. Do I stop?Going to make an assumption, Aaro, thatyou only feel guilty about her feelingguilty.Not that you feel guilty about doing it.Sounds to me like that's the issue.Maybe you don't even feel guilty abouther feeling guilty. You just you're sortof you've noticed it. You're slightlyconcerned.I

00:06:53consenting adults, she wants to do it.You have no obligation not to do it. Iget the sense it's probably better foryour karma. You know, the littleconscience karma score. It's obviouslyplaying on your mind, right? Well,that's not a zero cost activity. Thefact that you're thinking about itenough to submit this as a question. Uhyou've already piped it for a good whilewhen you were together. You've doneenough breakup sex. It sounds I reckonmove allow her to move on. Even if youdon't feel guilty about doing it, youmight start feeling guilty about herfeeling guilty. And like a genu generalrule of thumb is to treat every girlthat you're with as if you were going tomarry her or treat her like the girlthat you're going to marry, like how youwant that girl to be treated by somebodyelse. And if you were to find out thatthe girl you get with next had beenmistreated and her ex kept sleeping withher and all of this stuff, you'dprobably feel a bit bad. It's the u it'slike the golden rule. It's a golden ruleof dating. Like treat others as youwould wish your next partner to betreated. Something like that. Anyway, Iyou've piped it enough. Give it a rest.

00:08:09Ra Rachel Lordgavin,what was your favorite part about yourrecent tour in Australia? Australia wasawesome. Thank you to everyone who cameout and in New Zealand and in Bali. Uh Igot to see Adelaide for the first timeand Perth for the first time and thatwas great. And um I really loved Perth.It's super cool. I'd never flown to thatside of Australia. It's 5 hours away.The routing was awful. Uh, for thepeople that didn't watch the vlog, wewent from one side of Australia to theother and back with shows on every dayin the space of 48 hours. It was stupid.Like, we ruined the entire trip just toget to Perth. Uh, but it was worth it.That was awesome. I have to say Brisbaneis one of the coolest cities on theplanet. It's Everyone's fit. Everyone'sfit and hot and tanned. And there's thebest gym in the world there, which isTotal Fusion Platinum. it it's out ofthis world. And the even thearchitecture is nice and there hanginggardens coming out the side of buildingsand there's a waterfront and it's great.So Brisbane awesome. Perth awesome. Anduh I mean it's the second biggest showI've ever done. We sold out the DarlingHarbor Theater in Sydney. We me uh itwas sick. It was really really cool. Ican't wait to go back.

00:09:26Amir Deir Dag, when do you know it'stime to settle? Being single is fun. PS.See you in Dublin in October. I will seeyou in Dublin, presumably as you'verattled your way through some more ofIreland. Uh,by the way, if you haven't got ticketsfor my UK and Ireland tour, you can getthose at chriswillson.live. Dublin'ssold out, so you can't go to Dublin, butthere's some tickets available foreverywhere else, London and andEdinburgh and a ton of other spaces, andyou can get them now. Chris Williamson.Um, when do you know it's time tosettle?

00:10:02When you feel like it. Kind of. I thinktrying to prescribe forcing yourself tosettle down will just result in youresenting the settling. You don't wantto do that. If you try and, you know,reverse engineer force your way intodoing something that you don't feel likedoing, that's a that's a prettyguaranteed way to self-destruct at somepoint. Uh there is a great line aboutdating which is you can't negotiatedesire. And I think the same thing iskind of true here which is you can'teven negotiate your own desire. Uh youcan't convince somebody else to find youattractive if they don't. But you can'tconvince yourself to want to dosomething if you don't. Like how manytimes have you been in a relationshipwith somebody that on paper is all ofthe things that you want in a partnerand for some reason that you know thisis when people say the spark's notthere. it's just not quite right. Idon't know what it is. I don't feelcompelled or whatever by them. You'retrying to dictate to yourself, hey, feelthis way and you don't. And if you'resaying being single is fun, I imagineit's very fun in in Dublin.

00:11:10You're you're denying yourself the thingthat you're enjoying in an attempt totry and do a thing that you think thatyou should. Now, is there a limit tothis? Probably. If you've run throughhalf of Dublin, might be time to give ita bit of a break. Uh, but at least ifit's not on your radar, if it's only onyour radar because you feel obliged to,I don't think that it's something thatyou need to think about because it'sjust going to result in failure.Now, that's where you do the selfwork.That's when you spend some timejournaling and you think, well, maybeI'm scared of intimacy. Maybe I've got aconcern about settling down. Maybe itfeels constraining and constricting tome because that's how I felt as a childorI'm not happy in my uh in my job outsideof this. I don't feel fullyI don't feel fully seen at work orwhatever it might be. There's a lot ofreasons about what might be going onthere. Anyway,you do it when you feel like it. That'sit.Thomas Goodfellow, are you a comi met? Ioften wonder if hyper successful peopleare. Yes, I am. Game recognizes game asthey say. Uh for the people that don'tknow, comt is a genetic polymorphismsnip variant something and it

00:12:26the metmmet variant is the most extremeversion of it because you've got twocopies. So I think it's the same asbeing double A and this basically meansthat you clear catakolamines andadrenaline more slowly and you have ahigher dopamine baseline. So ifsome sort of stressful chaotic situationoccurs, it takes longer for you to comeback down to baseline. Um I would make ahorrible Navy Seal but a pretty goodartist for instance. Whereas if thingsare predictable, uh relativelyroutinized, quite peaceful, you canoperate and lock in very very well. Youpay a lot of attention to detail. Thisis kind of one of the polymorphismsthat's associated with the classicinsecure overachiever overinkerarchetype. And uh yeah, I think hyperssuccessful people, you got to pay a lotof attention to stuff. You know, the[ __ ] maxing aside, [ __ ] maxing issomebody that could be the guy on theright being the guy on the left. Likeyou have all of the capacity tooverthink and you're choosing not to.Like or else you're just incapable. It'sthe same thing as the Peterson lineabout umhaving the capacity for danger and notusing it

00:13:41or having the capacity foraggression and not using it is differentto being unable to be aggressive. Likethat's those two things aren't the same.And the same thing's true here that evenif it's often optimal to try andsimplify stuff and not over complicateit, that is going from a I could overcomplicate it and I choose not to andyou get to select the very few areasthat you do complicate because they'rethe ones that have got the highestreturn versusI I can't complicate. I can't think thatdeeply. That being said, you don't needa comty metmmet variant to be athoughtful person that pays attention to[ __ ]I would guess a lot of people are. Um Icertainly know a bunch of my friendshave at least one copy of CompTI. Thatbeing said, it is notI don't even know if it's 5149beneficial. It just is. Like having thatcom variant just is. It requires you toadapt your lifestyle in a different way.That's why I don't like getting intobeef on the internet. I'm just not builtfor it. I'm not built to have a like I'mnot built to be Ben Shapiro, right? OrPiers Morgan or something. What did Isay at the top of the show about the newstyle of debate? Like my nervous systemjust I don't really feel like peopleshouting and screaming at each otherwhile I'm sat in a room. I just wanteveryone to kind of build on

00:14:56it and sortof be friends and get along. Like thatfeels better to me. Not only becausethat's my disposition, but it's mypredisposition as well. Uh, and tryingto work around it, trying to fightagainst it,I would lose. So, yes, I am. And I thinksome hyper successful people are too,but it's absolutely not all sunshine andrainbows. In fact, it might be more rainmay maybe more rainbows than sunshine ifthat's what it is. Whatever. It might itmight suck more than it more than it's abeneficial uh advantage. And I'm workingthrough it.ChoreChimmore. What is the smallest hill youwould die on?

00:15:41What is the smallest hill I would dieon?Hold luggage is a scop meant to keep youpoor and late.Is definitely one.Andthe most important part of a bed is thepillow.Those are the two those are the twosmallest hills that I'm I I'm yet tofind a trip where you need to takehold luggage unless you're takingsomething commercial, right? Like we wehad to fly. I got I got [ __ ]on the on the tour vlog because I hadhold luggage with me. It contained themerch. All right. It contained all themerch that we were putting up so thatpeople could see what they were going tobuy and then the actual stuff that theybought was shipped there. Give me abreak.Good pillow, bad bed, good night'ssleep. Bad pillow, good bed, averagenight's sleep. Most important part ofthe bed's the pillow. Two hills I'll dieon. I I don't care what you say. Notthat Sexton. I wonder if this is JamesSton. Uh, did you get much backlash foryour Louis Manosphere episode?Yes,

00:16:56I did. Yes, I did. I managed tounite the feminists and the manospherein agreement that the worst part ofLouis Thuru's manosphere documentary washim coming on my podcast. The day afterthe documentary dropped,all most of the people that wereinvolved in the documentary weren'ttweeting necessarily about thedocumentary, but were doing big diettribes about my conversation with Louieand calling me out. It's been I've got[ __ ] whiplash this year from tryingto work out where I'm supposed to bepositioned. Whether I'm in themanosphere or a feminist, whether I'm aright-wing bigot or a left left-wingbluepilled cuck, I I I can't work it outbased on other people's opinions of me.Uh I did Tucker Carlson show in Novemberand there was this huge breakdown, thislike massive essay by a a prominentwriter uh that said I was riddled withbluepilled thinking and infected withfeminist lies. That was interesting. AndthenJanuary,me and Bartlett got in bother fortalking about birthright decline.And I was a misogynist, a

00:18:11manosphere,red pill, right-wing, I was a Luxmaxer,which almost feels like a a compliment.Uh, and thendid the episode with Louis and I was uha feminist again. So, I'm I actuallygetting ripped around. Like, my neckhurts from trying to hold on as I getjiggled about on this roller coaster.Uh, I got a lot of backlash becauseit looks like I'm supposed to adhere toone side, which I don't, and you don'tget any support from the side that onlyrecently was calling you out. So,I enjoyed that conversation. I enjoyedthat conversation with Louie. I don'tagree with everything that he said. Idon't agree with the way that he framedeverything inside of the episode. Ithought he missed some stuff out thatwould have been really important to havegotten round to. UhI still had an interesting conversationwith him. I had an interestingconversation with Bernie Sanders, right?Bernie Sanders who said, "I think it's abig problem when talking aboutbirthright decline." That's BernieSanders, right? That's Mr. Left. Mr.Left.I I'm going to continue to have theconversations I want to have. I'm reallytrying my best to do

00:19:26them in a balancedway. I'm trying to put this across withpeople that I think act in good faith,understand what they're talking about.I'm not going to agree with everythingthat they say. And if I get patternmatched as being manosisphere adjacentor as being an apologist for feministthinking or something,so be it. Like I I Ican't spend my time trying to explain topeople my position if they don't careand don't have the capacity tounderstand what I'm doing. The peoplethat listen to this show, I think have areally good understanding of what I'mtrying to do. Andthe show's for them. The show is for youguys. If you're this deep, whatever, 15minutes, 20 minutes deep into a solo Q&Aepisode, the show is for you. And ifsomebody sees a clip of me where I saysomething and because of the way that Ilook or because of the accent I've gotor because of whatever the [ __ ]forearm tumors, um, if they think thatthat's ait means that I've sided with one groupor another, fine. Like, I'm not going tospend or waste my time explaining myselfto people who don't understand what I'mdoing.Gatlin1320, you and Alex Okconor have been ona generational

00:20:42run lately. Thank youvery much. Uh, Alex is so [ __ ] great,dude. Like,I've been friends with him for sevenyears now, and I've been a fan of him,maybe for even longer, and he's just sogreat. He's a lovely guy behind thescenes. Uh, I genuinely like him. He hasworked incredibly hard. I mean, he'sbeen doing YouTube sincein nearly 10 years now. It wouldn'tsurprise me if it's been 10 years. it'sat least been sort of nine or eight. Andum I think he's fantastic. I think he isa wonderful voice at the moment whounderstands theology, respects religion,respects believers, and isn't kind ofreally sterile and mean when talkingabout religion and belief andcan hold the ground of he understandstheology and religion and scriptureoften better than the people that he'ssitting opposite, which is crazy. asopposed to kind of just steaming inwith, well, this is irrational and thatcouldn't happen and here's some science.He sort of steps onto the field of playof people who are believers and then hasa conversation with them inside of

00:21:57theirdomain. And it's just it does notsurprise me at all that he's kind of thecenter of this conversation aroundreligion. Also, his pivot from atheismto agnostic, I think, is is really greatbecause it makes it sound lessadversarial. Again, I think people aregetting frustrated and fatigued with allof the fighting and canankerous like weknow that this is the way to do it and Iworry you will I you will find if I if Iopen up your Twitter on the 23rd ofApril 2026 that you said oh my god dudelike can we not just have a [ __ ] canwe not just have a conversation that'srelatively cordial where both people aretrying to find some form of truth andagreement and and understanding aboutsomebody else's perspective. Like, isthat not is that not fun? Are we nothere to have a fun time like that? Isthat not this nice blend of I'm going tolearn a bit and I'm not going to walkaway feeling like I've just beeninjected with a ton of adrenaline. Isthat not okay? I don't know. I I Alex isgreat. Thank you. Generational run. I'mtrying to crank it in my own way. Andmaybe he'll be back on the show. Maybehe'll do one of those round table debatethings. That would be fun. So, leave itwith me.Kayla Ironside, I remember beingsubscribed when you had 100 followersand would respond to comments.

00:23:12You letfame get way to your head. You don'teven have good guests anymore, justself-help gurus, which gets boring.Well, look, after I've had the shamanon.It is no surprise that self-help gurushas been alleged at me. Uh Kayla, I'msorry that I haven't been replyingresponding to your comments. Um, ifyou've been here since 100 followers andI'm still landing on your newsfeed,that that feels pretty sticky. Uh, Iapologize that you think that the show'sdropped off. Um, I let fame get way tomy head. I'm going to push back againstthat one.British people and it's the brand ofBritish person that I am basically hasanti-go.And I'mI I don't think it's fair to allege thatI've let fame get way to my head becauseI'm not responding to your comments.There used to be 100 followers and Iwould respond a lot. There's 4.2 millionnow. I'm still responding a lot. There'sjust more people for the responses to togo around. Okay, I'm really I'm reallytrying. Uh I don't even have good guestsanymore. I apologize. I would love tohear who you would like me to bring onthe show. I'm

00:24:28always open to suggestionsfrom you or from anybody else and I'velistened and I've brought on lots ofsuggestions that have come. Many of thesuggestions are people suggestingthemselves uh and other suggestionsdon't work. Not right.There's a mixed bag of tastefulnessinside of every audience. Mine is moretasteful than most. Thank you. Uh I'msorry, Kayla. Um but I'm glad thatyou've been here for the last eight anda bit years.I hope that you keep listening. Thisepisode is brought to you by Whoop.According to my Whoop, I've trackednearly 2,000 days of my life. And thething that still gets me is that I couldhave predicted almost every bad daybefore it happens. That's because Whoopgives you a complete picture of yourhealth every single day. Your sleep,your workouts, your recovery, yourbreathing, your heart rate, even yoursteps. And over time, you get to seewhat's working and what isn't. And theWhoop 5.0 is the best version yet. It's7% smaller. You get more than 2 weeks ofbattery life from a single charge. It'sgot health span tracking to see how yourdaily habits affect your pace of aging.It's even got hormonal insights for thewomen that are listening. I'm a hugefan. This thing rules. It's been a hugepart of my health journey. And it's whyit's the only wearable that I've everstuck with. Best of all, you

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00:26:08wisdom. Veroriaverwhatever. Talk about golden retrievers.Dude, I where I live in Austin, Texas iskind of likeIt's essentially the epicenter. It's thesuper massive black hole in the centerof the golden retriever verse of Austin,Texas. And I I think that this is maybea sign up by big golden to get me to buya golden. And I'm being so, you know,the uh the Truman Show and the guy comesover the radio. He's like, "Send inanother three golden retrievers to sniffhis leg as he walks past." and it'severy single [ __ ] day that I go. So,I'm happy to talk about GoldenRetrievers. Uh, Wally Meets World onInstagram isperhaps my favorite Instagram account.It's this overly emotional goldenretriever who permanently looks likehe's going through a depressive episode.And I love him. I love him so much.Like, if I sat down, I would I wouldhappily do a roundt episode with threegolden retrievers. Um, give me time.Give me time. I really want to have one.Ifeel bad because my mom and dad alwayshad dogs when I was

00:27:23growing up and theytreated them so well in terms of theyalways got walks. They were alwayslooked after. They weren't pampered butthey were just they were never leftalone for too long. Um they got regularexercise. They were golden uh uh bordercollies.I I would feel so bad knowing thestandard of care that a dog can get andthat a dog did get from my mom and dad.I would feel bad to have one and not notdo that for it. Um, so I'm aware this islike the it's the I'm not ready to havea baby equivalent for [ __ ] goldenretrievers, but I really want one andand I'm trying to not be selfish aboutgetting one just because I want it tothen not give it the standard of carethat I think it deserves. So I willsoon. So soon. Um, if anyone canrecommend a golden retriever breeder orsomething, that probably will push me alittle closer. Nice fluffy a showgolden, not a working golden, please.Love working goldens, but I want a big Iwant a big fluffy idiot, please. Bigfluffy idiot. Thank you,Amber Ravina. More open tabs

00:28:39group pods,please. And thank you.Yes.Yes. But caveat, I don't know what thename is. I don't know the name of all ofthese. We've been fighting so hardbehind the scenes to work out what tocall these things. We were going to callthe big names episodes like human mccusasagura uh uncommon conversations cuz itis it's like it's strange group ofpeople but it's so long when you try andput that on YouTube or Spotify it itit's huge. It takes up loads of space.So then we were going to call it smokebreak, right? It's casual. We're goingto call it hot mic and someone's got hotmic and they've got George Bush money soI don't want to go up against them. Uh,then it was going to be smoke break. Itstill might be, you know, the CEO goesout for a smoke break and the janitor'sthere kind of playing off that. Plus,it's casual and relaxed. Then it wasgoing to be good vibes or good dudes.And it would be funny if we brought agirl on cuz she would still be a gooddude. And then the one with George andSean and the guys was maybe going to begood dudes or rabbit hole because wekeep going down rabbit holes. But thenthere's a New York Times limited seriesfrom ages ago called Rabbit Hole. Andthen it was going to be open tabsbecause it's all of the things that arein our minds and all of the differenttabs that we've got open on Chrome, the[ __ ] that we've seen on the internet.

00:29:55I don't know what to call it.And it's giving me it's giving me lowkeyanxietybecause I keep releasing episodes and Ican't decide. I can't decide what it is.And we keep on having the samediscussions. And I I I I we we were alsogoing to call it Blunt Rotation. Likethe big episode was going to be calledBlunt Rotation. Uh I don't know what tocall it. Maybe I should just do if I doa poll, people are going to vote on theone that they think sounds cool, but notthe one that they would click on. Andthen we every time that we picksomething, we have to go through we haveto check with an IP lawyerbecause when you get to a certain sizethe because people think that you havemoney that they can come after you forfor for um it's called passing off inthe UK. I don't know what the equivalentis in the US infringement basically. Andthe US is a first to use, not a first tofile as well in trademark law, whichmeans you get a degree of protection bysimply using it first, even if youhaven't registered it.They're [ __ ] nightmare. But whateverit's called, you will be getting more ofthose group pods. I enjoy them. I thinkthey're fun. Just need a name. Okay.P

00:31:11Noel3, can you get Elon Musk on thepod? I got put in a signal group chatwith him.last week. I've been orbiting for awhile, which I guess is an appropriateterm for him, uh, both sexually andphysically. AndIhad slowly sort of crept toward him.He'd watched a bunch of the pods. Heposted the David Friedberg app that wedid on X, which was very kind.And then I got put in a group chat afterhe posted that one. And I said, "Do youwant to come on the pod?" and he saidmaybe after the SpaceX IPO. So, justwaiting for maybe the most valuablecompany ever in history to go public andthen once that's happened, we'll dosomething. I've got an idea for how Iwant to put that together. I want to dosomething incredibly special similar tothe MCA kind of the the big moment. Andregardless of what you think about Elon,right, you don't even need to like him.You don't need to agree with him. Youcan't deny that he's one of the mostinfluential people on the planet. He is.and uh maybe one of the most influentialpeople. He may end up being the mostinfluential person in history by thetime that he dies. And uh I think

00:32:26it's it that's a it's a good idea tohave a conversation with someone likethat. So going to try and I'm going todo something special.KPTMiz,I found the tall girl problem isactually a compounding issue. If a womanhas a high income plus high EQ fromtherapy plus the wisdom of intense lifeexperiences, she becomes taller in waysshe can't unlearn. How do we addressthis asymmetric growth? Is it a problemof how we incentivize men towardinternal work? Or is it that we lacktherapy or growth models specificallytailored to men? P.S. curious if otherwomen here feel their height is comingat least equally, if not more, fromtheir personal growth than theirpaycheck.This is why I love the modern wisdomaudience. Like that is a [ __ ] awesomequestion. That is a really reallyinteresting question from someone who'sthought about it deeply and that's why Ilove you guys.The question here, tall girl problem,socioeconomic success from women hasmade it difficult or more difficult forthem to find a partner who is assoioeconomically successful as they areor more. Women typically want to date aman who's as educated as they are ormore and as financially

00:33:41successful asthey are or more. There is a thirdelement here that's being proposed by KPwhich is the emotional development. Ifyou've done a lot of selfwork here isanotheruh delta. It's another distance from youto the people that you're trying todate. And I get the sense that this isactually one that could maybe be moredestructive to relationships especiallyover the long term. So on the front endwhen you meet someone you might be moreconcerned with their education level andtheir current earningas you get into a relationship that mayI think become less and less relevant.On the other side, I think someone'semotional intelligence upfront. You'renot being that emotional, right? Whenyou first meet somebody, you maybe getsome senses here and there,but as you get deeper into therelationship, if you've done a lot ofselfwork, if you've done a lot oftherapy, if you've thought deeply aboutyour emotions, you're trying to connectto your feelings, you're understandingyour patterns, you're really trying toyou're trying to go there, you're tryingto hold your emotions, you're trying todevelop yourself.If you and your partner have a bigdelta,I think that is going to create morefriction and make you feel more alone inthe relationship than them not having amasters when you've got a masters andthey've just got an undergrad degree

00:34:56orsomething like that. Uh so I think thisis almost certainly a contributingelement. I don't know whether theasymmetric growth is that women aredoing more emotional work. Uh itobviously seems like you areunsurprising modern wisdom listenerobviouslyI don't know whether that is on averagetrue for women to be more emotionally intune and developed than men are in thesame way as higher levels of degreeaccomplishment and higher levels offinancial success are true. By the way,the stat of women out earning men is nowthey out earn men up to the age of 32.It was 29 previously and I think it'smaybe 32 33. Like this is a big windowfor women to try and date in. Um so Idon't know if it's asymmetric growth onaverage or just asymmetric growth forfor for you and all of the other womenthat listen to Modern Wisdom. Obviously,uh also they're if they've beenabsorbing the British accent, I imaginethat's probably a competitivedisadvantage too within the the market.you're likeit's you just it's very difficult tocompete with the British accent. Okay,so hold on to the American accent atleast if you're from America.

00:36:11How do weaddress this asymmetric growth? Is it aproblem of how we incentivize men towardinternal work or is it that we lacktherapy or growth models specificallytailored to men? I certainly think bothof those things because the the the twothings are interlin. Men will be morelikely to do a modality of emotionaldevelopment that they think and thatthey can see will give them outcomesthat they want. If you have therapy andgrowth models specifically tailored tomen, they're more likely toobserve the direct outcome, beneficialoutcome that they want and pursue it. Ithink rather than trying to sort of whipmen into doing it or guilt men intodoing it or shame them into doing it,it's much better to just make it soattractive and so obviously beneficialto them that they want to do it. That tome seems to be like just incentives.incentives. Align the [ __ ]incentives. And if you align theincentives so that a guy goes, "Hey, Ican actually see how this would benefitme in ways that I care about, I'm goingto go and do it." That's the easiestway. So, uh, a model of getting moreguys into therapy, bringing across someof the tools, I guess, from coaching

00:37:26andmen's work into therapy. Um, and I'veworked with maybe five or sixtherapists. most of them for a shortperiod and two of them for a longperiod.I found myself getting frustrated. I wasabout to say as a man like the [ __ ]like speaking as a white man fromEngland.I found myself getting frustrated whenit only felt like there was reflectionand know okay and this is what we'regoing to do about it or this is a thisis an exercise that you can do in thereal world which is going to expose youto this pattern or this is aconversation that might be beneficialfor you to have or I want you to notedown when you feel this thing come upthat to me felt like a little bit likehomework but it felt like I was makingprogress like there was a plan in placeand that sort of lineartrajectory, right? That sort of upwardtrajectory is, I think, really importantto men. So,yes, this will help to close the delta.What I really just need to do is start a[ __ ] dating organization of ModernWisdom listeners. Like, that wouldpre-seelelect for so many of theproblems that people have. Like, this iswhat's mad about the live

00:38:42shows. ChrisWilliamson. If you're in the UK andDublin, uh, and Northern Ireland, I knowthat you're sometimes touchy about beinga part of the UKat the live shows, the number of couplesthat come together and say, "We uh, workin different companies, we havedifferent careers, we travel a good biteach day, but we listen to the show, andthen when we come back together on anighttime, we talk about what's happenedin the show." Like, that is obviouslybecause thislike wisdom course stuff is a reallyIt's resonating with people like eatinga type of nutrient that you haven't hadfor a long time. Like it's spirulina foryour soul when I get it right. When Iget it wrong, it's sometimes it's justslightly less spirulina for your soul.When I get it right, this gives peoplethe opportunity to really understandthemselves and then deepen theirrelationship together. So pre-selectingfor just a bunch of people who are allinvolved and interested in the samestuff, I should just try and find a way.But if I do that,the prospect, the possibility of therebeing some I did think about doing this.I was like, "Oh, well, why don't I do amixer after the live event, it's gonnabe hard?" Because like London, theApollo show in London in October is it'sa three and a half thousand capacityvenue and we

00:39:57sold it out last time. So,first off, where the [ __ ] am I going toput, let's say 20% of the people fromthere go? That's a lot of people. Like700 people is a lot of people. And whatif this I just had this vision in theback of my mind that two people getdrunk and go home and have a fumble andthen like rightwing misogynistbluepilled cuck feminist podcasterembroiled in drunken I'm like I wasn'teven there. I was just trying to get Iwas just trying to [ __ ] fix the birthrate and get some make people helppeople fall in love and find someonethat they're less alone with. Sothat's that's what I'm trying to thinkI'm trying to think about. Maybe justcome come to the live shows and justhang around in the lobby and have alittle have a little flirt, have alittle chat, you know, maybe that'll fixit. But I feel you. If you're veryemotionally developed, it's going to behard to resonate with people. Uh andyeah, you become taller in ways youcan't unlearn, right? You can stop goingto work. If you want to settle down,start a family, you can pivot yourcareer. uh it's very difficult to forgetthe inner work that you've done, theemotional development, and it's going tomake you feel quite alone. So the moredeveloped that you get as a human, theit's like it's kind of like having areally refined palette.

00:41:13You become afoodie and you can understand thedifference between this particular typeof of bolognese sauce and another one.And uh it means as your pallet is morerefined, there are fewer and fewerplaces that you can go to eat becauseyou're not going to be able to enjoythings in quite the same way. You'remaybe going to see through theshallowess of certain types of foods inways that someone who doesn't have sucha developed pallet might not. They mightnot struggle with it. AndI feel for you, but also I think thatthe development is worth it. You justneed to work a little bit harder to findyour person. and I am going to try andhelp.In other news, Shopify powers 10% of alle-commerce companies in the US. They arethe driving force behind Gym Shark andSKIMS and Aloe and Newtonic, which iswhy I partnered with them because whenit comes to converting browsers intobuyers, they are best-in-class. Theircheckout is 36% better on averagecompared to other leading commerceplatforms. And with Shop Pay, you canboost conversions up to 50%. Basically,you didn't get into business to learnhow to code or build a website or dealwith the inventory stuff [ __ ] on theback end. You just want to get down tocreating and promoting an awesomeproduct. And Shopify takes all

00:42:28of themess off your hands and allows you tofocus on the job you actually came hereto do, designing and selling the thingthat you love. So, upgrade your businessand get the same checkout that we usewith Newtonic with Shopify. Right now,you can sign up for a $1 per month trialperiod by going to the link in thedescription below or heading toshopify.com/modernwisdom,all lowercase. That'sshopify.com/modernwisdom.Shitty catfox,why do you and literally all of yourguests endlessly pander to feminist[ __ ] and then pretend you somehowaren't part of basically all theproblems you talk about on your show?

00:43:10Am IHow many How many manosphere accusationsin headlines do I need? I I actuallyshould just have you write my PR, ShittyCat Fox. It's a brilliant name, by theway. I should have you write my PR.Like, he is not a part of themanosphere. He doesn't care about men.He's not a male supremacist. Heendlessly pandas to feminist [ __ ]along with all of his guests and thenpretends that he somehow isn't basicallypart of all of the problems he talksabout on his show. That is the that isthe best PR that I could come up with.But as I said, I've got I have neckacheand backachche from being ripped aroundby people on the internet not being ableto work out whether I'm their enemy ornot on both sides. I'm beingideologically spit roasted by both sidesof the internet. Right. Both themanosphere hate me and the feministshate me. And I think that most peoplesit in the middle. I think that mostpeople understand that theseconversations are pretty important andthat most of the stuff that goes on onthe internet is just

00:44:20rage bait. People looking for clicks.I'm really trying to not do that. Iapologize if it feels like I'm endlesslypandering to feminist [ __ ] Uh, Iwould love for you to sit down with someof the girlies from Tik Tok and work outwho thinks they're right. Why, you canhave a conversation between yourselvesand then when you work out who you thinkis right, come and have a chat with me.But it does feel a little bit like beingaccused by opposite sides of the samespectrum about being the opposing thingthat each side thinks I'm not. So,little confusing, but thank you. Iappreciate it's always nice to meet afan. Always nice to meet a fan.

00:45:01Joe Gaffne, hello Christopher. Will weget any other flavors for the Newtonicfocus pouches that speak of the devil?Uh, so these Newtonic focus pouches, theZinterative,as we called them,took ages to develop. Was nearly 18months to get right and dial the flavorsin, and they rule. And the fresh mintone is is fantastic. Yes, there's newflavors coming. I commissioned a coffee,acitrus,a spearmint, a peppermint, and a somesort of fruit, like a mixed fruit thing.And I think I just I have this vision.So, you can see it's this sort ofcylinder thing. I have this vision ofcreating uh like a set of pucks, like 12 3 4 5 a variety pack like that. And Ijust think it would be so cool. Um, yes,there'll be new flavors. These sold outin 40 hours in the UK. I think they'resold out everywhere now. Um, they aregoing to be in GNC and vitamin shop justnext to the counter, which is prettycool because health stores are prettyworried about putting nicotine in, buthaving something that's a pouch deliverymechanism that doesn't have nicotine inand is good for you and makes your brainwork better and is a supplement overtime,

00:46:16uh,that seems pretty cool. So, I'm I'm verybullish on these. Everyone that we'vespoken to about them, all the retailersare super excited. So, I'm working hard.Uh, we need to get the [ __ ] freshmanback in stock first. But, we're on it.Leave it with me. And, uh,I don't know. I'm excited.Arnaldo Gonk, as a young guy, how areyou supposed to gain the world'srespect? Do you just have to wait?Yeah, II'm not sighing at your question. andI'm sighing at the recollection of beingin that position. Um,when I first started running my eventsbusiness, Voodoo with Darren, my ex-business partner, we were 18 and then westarted really sitting down with leisurecompany owners,halfway through first year and thenproperly into second year. So, we were18, 19, 19, 20, 21, like reallyaggressively sitting down. And theseleisure company owners are kind ofgrizzled old 50s60snightclub group owners or or operatorsof some kind or another. And um I feltpanded to. I felt panded to. And I satdown

00:47:31in these these meetings cuz I knewthat I had something to offer this thiscompany. And and I it felt like I wasgetting a pat on the head. It's verypatronizing to me and I really didn'tenjoy it and I understand I think whatyou're talking about which is that theworld doesn't respect you simply becauseof your age and they could kind ofdisregardyour competence which is what you'reoperating on, right? Especially youlisten to a show like this, you'rethinking about yourself, you're tryingto improve yourself and then all of thatkind of just gets forgotten aboutbecause you're 19 or you're 22 orsomething. Um,the harsh truth is kind of, yeah, you dokind of just have to wait. I'm sorry,it's a very unsatisfactory answer. Youcan try and speedrun it. Um,I'll give you one of the hacks that Ifound.When I sat down to have conversationswith the Leisure Company guys, it wouldtypically be me that led the pitch andthen Darren that actually did the didthe work. So, I got wheeled out as kindof like the queen. like I would be thehonorary citizen that kind of did thedid the the cell and then Darrenactually like did the grinding when itcame to the the numbers. One of thethings that I did was

00:48:47try to protect myself and the personthat I was working because I didn't wantto resent them. I didn't want to resentthis ledger company owner. So partwaythrough sort of hey guys look before weget started I just wanted to say I knowthat we're a young company butI think that our results speak forourselves. We don't needI don't want you to discount what we cando simply because we're young. I have alot of respect for you and what you'veachieved in the industry. You can lookat our track record and it's verystellar.I'm going to treat you with the level ofrespect that I think you want to and Iexpect that back. Like going in andsaying something to thesomething similar to that, at least inmy experience,called out the elephant in the room. Iknow I'm young, but I'm great at what Ido. I'm gonna respect you. I expect youto respect me back. It's like, huh, thiskid's that was like a kind of riskything to say. I like that. If someonecame and said that to me, I'd be like, Ilike that he's standing on principle. Heknows his worth. He understands thathe's young, but he also is prepared tocall it out so that there's no unspoken[ __ ] going on in the background. Thathelps. Also, just being reallycompetent. There's a book by uh CalNewport

00:50:02called So Good They Can't IgnoreYou.Be so good that they can't ignore you.Be so good that they can't disrespectyou is a solution. But dude, honestly,until you're kind of The first change Ithink is probably about 24,24, 25, and then the next one is 30 forguys. 19 you are going to really befighting against the tide. And 26, 27,28, like you're still doing it. Once youget past 30, I think it's kind of allthe same. Um, so aging in some ways isgood because it means that you've gotway more respect. Um,I feel for you. Keep on grinding andyeah, call it out if you feel it. It'slike, "Hey guys, I'm noticing I'mfeeling a little bit of tension in theroom. I know that I'm young, but look atwhat I can do. I'm I'm really showing uphere to in a professional manner to tryand prove to you exactly what I can do."I expect the same from you. Maybe atleast for me, I found that that waseffective. So, Godspeed.Fat phobic. Why so many ad reads inevery episode? The

00:51:12dude, I I get it. I understand. Iunderstand if you're locked in on aconversation and I come in and go inother news this episode is brought toyou by I understand that it might be aninconvenience for a minute but dude Ijust put three of the biggest podcastersin the world in the same room for 3hours and there's four minutes of adsout of 180.Like if that is that is thatunacceptable?Is that really too high of a price topay to receive three episodes a weekcompletely free? I I I I'm really tryinghere. I'm trying to give thiscriticism as much of a steel man aspossible. I understand that it'sprobably it it's it's probably annoying.You're locked in. You don't want to hearabout whatever it is that I'm talkingabout, right? But dude, I the lightsneed to be kept on. Like when forinstance episode 1000 McConna builtrebuilt the house from Interstellarin Unreal Engine 5 and then bucked outthis huge video wall and then builtpractical sets and got an airirstreamand reversed the [ __ ] thing in thereand then had to get McConn

00:52:28and then hadto edit and all the rest of it. We lostI lost so much money on that oneproduction. It's insane. I didn't makeit back on that one or on that one andthe next one or on that one and the nextone and the one after. I don't know howlong it took me to make that money back.I I can't describe to you the level ofentitlement that it feels like forsomeone to say it's not worth 4 minutesof ads that are free and skippable forme to be able to enjoy that content.Like it feels it feels unfair. Likeparasocial relationships feel sometimeson the internet a lot more entitled thanmy real social relationships. None of myfriends have ever said, "Dude, [ __ ] Ilove you, man, but I need you to thosead reads. They're, you know, they'rereally getting to me." No one's eversaid that. But I I'm trying I try tomake them interesting. I really do. WeWe didn't use scripts. Like I'm doingcomedy bits. We writing like littlejokes and stuff. I'm really reallytrying to make them as engaging aspossible. I only work with partners thatI care about and that I whose products Iuse. I'm really really going for it. AndI'm sorry. I'm sorry if it's a if it'sgenuinely a big deal. I am sorry.But

00:53:45what like you want this is not easy.This studio was so [ __ ] expensive.And I'm trying I'm trying I think I'madding value. I think I'm trying to dodifferent different things and not justmail it in. I'm sorry there's fourminutes of ads per episode, but it's notgoing to change. So, if you don't likeit, you you're just you're simply goingto have to go somewhere else. And Iapologize.You might not believe me, but this iswhat peak sleep optimization looks like.Not talking about the night gown. That'sjust for sex appeal. I'm talking aboutmy EightLe. The eightle pod 5 comes witha smart cover you throw on your mattressthat actively cools or heats each sideof the bed up to 20°. And now they'veadded the world's first temperatureregulating duvet and pillowcase. Soyou've got 360° coverage for deepuninterrupted rest. It's like being WaltDisney without the cryogenic chamberand the racism. Best of all, theirautopilot feature learns your sleeppatterns and makes adjustments toimprove your sleep in real time. It evendetects when you're snoring and liftsyour head a few inches to help youbreathe better. That's why eight hasbeen clinically proven to add up to 1hour of quality sleep per night. Theyhave a 30-day sleep trial, so you canbuy it and sleep on it for 29 nights. Ifyou don't like it, they will give youyour money back. Plus, they shipinternationally. Right

00:55:00now, you can getup to $350 off the Pod 5 by going to thelink in the description below or headingto eight.com/modernwisdomand using the code modernwisdom acheckout. That's ei.com/modernwisdomand modernwisdom a checkout. AppalachianCuden red god. Who are you prayingPierce will spare? Who do you think ismarked for death?

00:55:31I think it's Mustang.I think it's Mustang. For the people whodon't know what we're talking, what the[ __ ] is this? He's speaking in code. Um,Red God is the final book in the RedRising series by Pierce Brown.some someone or a number of people.Pierce is kind of well known for killingoff favorite characters, especially whenyou don't expect it. Kind of again, hewas unceremoniously in the same way Ilaunched this studio without anyfanfare. He just kills off people'sfavorite characters like that anddoesn't complain about it, doesn'tapologize about it. Um, I did have acall with Pierce at the start of thisyear and that was pretty revealingbecause I said,"How are you getting on?" And he said,"I'm having I'm having an existentialcrisis because whoever I kill, I can'tbring back."He can't reccon this series, right? Youcan't Oh, actually, she was wearing resflesh on her face and was in ananti-chamber that kept her alivesecretly. They they took this specialvenom that dropped her heart rate tobelow perceptible level. Like, you can'tyou can't bring them back. And I thinkthe the most brutally unromantic way toround out the series would be for Darrow

00:56:46to win, but for him to lose his wifeagain.That's what I think would be like, oh,[ __ ] So unsatisfying. And so it wouldjust be a legendary way to do it. It's ahigh-risisk strategy because it is bydefinition it's very unsatisfying. Um,Daro dying feels a bit cliche. Seo dyingisroughbut just not it's not got the gut punchof a mother dying and Daryl losing hiswife again. So that's my money mymoney's on Mustang. I really do notenvy Pierce's job or any I mean look atum Patrick Rothus right with the name ofthe wind third bookhe's been it's been what 10 years 12years or something since the second onecame out in the trilogy and it's a abattle between him and George RR Martinfor who will write their next book last.

00:57:46I feel for fiction writers who've got totry and bring a story into land becausethis is going to get canonized. It'sgoing to be turned into a movie like oh[ __ ] Anyway, that's what I think isgoing to happen.Our castle would geopolitical climate bedifferent if Harambe was still alive,dude.Yes.Yes. Bring back Harambe, man. Ben Lambthat's bringing backthe woolly mammoth and the saber-toothtiger and the dodo bird at ColossusColossal the bioengineering geneticsthing. The first animal that should bebrought back is not the woolly mammoth.It's Harambe. I genuinely feel likehe was the hero that we needed, not theone that we wanted. The Middle East is100% fixed with Harambe. I think Russiais a little bit less likely to be fixed.I don't think that the Russians wouldhave listened to Harambe in the same waythat the Middle East would have done.But still, as an ambassador to the UN,as a consumer professional and as thevoice of a generation, I think HarambeisI miss him.I miss him.Jake C.

00:59:02Winter, what are the tops andsides numbers for the buzz? So, I'mgrowing this back [ __ ] here. I'mgoing to put this as a time capsule. I'mcementing this. When my hair is anotherinch long and the comments of what the[ __ ] is happening with that perm comein, this is my hair after not being cutfortwo, three months on the top and theback.It's not a perm, okay? It's not it. Thisis what my hair does when it grows.That's my first thing. When I have gotthe buzz, it is two two and a half. Twoon the sides, two and a half on the top.Likemoderate fade here on like on the sideson the upsides. That's it. It's simple.Now, the problem with two two and a halfis that you need to go back to keep itneat. You need to go back probably every2 and 1/2 weeks, at least at the pacethat my hair grows. 3 weeks starting tolook messy. Three and a half weeksyou're like, "Fucking hell." And then byfour for me, my hair doesn't get longer.You might have curly hair too, Jake. Itmy hair gets bigger.It's like a It's like an expandingplanet or something.

01:00:17My hair doesn't getlonger. It gets bigger. And that meansthat leaving it too long doesn't make itlook all tously and he's so cool andsexy. It looks like I don't care aboutmyself a lot. Uh so two two and a half.I would go one and a half two if youwant a bit more longevity in it andthat'll probably get you to three weeks.Uhthat's it. That's how it is. James J19,are we going to get an in-depth tour ofthe new studio? I know. I know. I shoulddo it. I should just film something. I Ihave this thing where I want it to beperfect. I want the studio to beperfect. And the the tree that's behindme, you might not be able to tell it's atree, but we got this custom tree fromSingapore, like customdesigned, and ithad these shelves on. and it was theperfect size to fit in the arch behindme in the studio andthat that hadn't arrived and there wasjust a normal set of shelves and then wegot that in and then we made some otherchanges and now we've got more lighttubes coming in so a couple moremanipulations going to happen. I'm likeI I just wanted to do it once it wasperfect and then I wanted to get the Iwanted to record it and explaineverything and going you know this thewhole studio is so high tech and we'vegot loads of cool [ __ ] that we've doneand I I I I just didn't get around toit. And also I've been trying to rip

01:01:32theshow too. Like bringing on these thesemulti- guest episodes are really hard todo. Like thinking about playing calendarTetris with one in demand person. Tryand multiply that by two more. It's soand mine. It's so hard. Um but yes,in-depth studio tour will come at somepoint once we get the final final littletouches in and it'll be that. And I'msorry that I haven't done it. Sweet chsweet sweet chongus. Do you ever worrythat within the self-help space, you'vealready covered the 8020 of what reallymatters and you now risk drifting intoproductive procrastination, searchingfor some hidden insight that doesn'tactually exist? And the more you try toimprove or keep learning, the more itjust circles back to your mantra, justdo the thing. Dude, I this is I thinkthis is touching onwhat I was saying at the very start,which isthere is a degree of grind slopexhaustion on the internet at the momentand go back to the first 400 episodes Idid on the show. David Allen, whocreated the most legendary productivityprocess of all time, GTD,

01:02:48right? Gettingthings done. Peter C. Brown, the guythat wrote the book Make It Stick,talking about the Ebing House forgettingcurve and space repetition and flashcards for memory. Like so much of thelowhanging fruit, the important stuffwas recorded on this podcast beforeanybody listened.Before anyone listened. I think 350episodes in, we had 100k subs.450, we had 250. And now it'sanother what 700 episodes. So, we were30% of the way to where we are now andwe had done less than 10% of the substhat we were ever going to do overall.It's like

01:03:38what I'm trying to do. I'm trying tomake this as fun as possible. I'm tryingto make it engaging. I'm not trying torepeat myself. I don't want to have thesame guest on or the same topic talkedabout. Like how many times do we need todo an episode aboutthe optimalcold, dark, quiet approach for yourbedroom? How many times do we need totalk about don't do caffeine after 6p.m. Right? It's just I'm conscious ofthis and I'm purposefully trying to findpeople who are new and interesting.Dude, we did two hours on the life ofJulius Caesar.Nothing to take away from that. Like,no, you don't need no notes. You Therewasn't a morning routine that you couldhave taken away from Julius Caesar. Justsit back and enjoy. Interestinglearning, but entertainment. Just chill.Enjoy that. And I that's the vibe thatI'm feeling at the moment. I'm stilltrying to make progress. I'm still bigon thethe emotions thing, the tapping inthe understanding yourself stuff. Butyeah, productive procrastination isreal. That there is an answer out therethatsomething new is what's most importantas opposed to just

01:04:54drilling the basics.That being said,given that so much of the stuff that Isaid on the pod that was really, reallyimportant, informative to me wasbasically before anybody listened, maybeI do need to actually run some of thatstuff back. It's going to be really hardto bring David Allen back on again 8years after I had him for the first timeand just do the same episode. But giventhat no one was listening back then andlots of people listen now, I don't know,maybe that is something that I need todo to revisit it. All I'm trying to dois follow my instincts with the show.And my instincts at the moment aretelling me have fun, hang with the guys,talk about stuff that's interesting,don't fall into politics slop, justreaction content, adversarial likeonline argument [ __ ] Don'ttry to find something that's novelsimply for the sake of it being novel.And so that there is a degree of oohthis is new that the the strategy thatyou don't understand unless it genuinelywarrants that. Um and maybe we need toredrill the basics. Maybe I need to dothat. I mean it's it's chronicallyunsexy to do it. It's incrediblyunattractive and does risk you beingaccused of we've heard this before. It'slike well if you've heard it before,

01:06:09whyaren't you implementing it? If you'veheard everything about sleep, why doesyour sleep still suck? If you alreadyknow the 8020, if I've covered the 8020I've covered the 100 zero, why does yoursleep still suck? Well, it's becauseyou're not doing it. And maybe you needto be reminded of it more. Or maybe Ineed to do recap episodes. I don't know.I I understand what you mean. And andI'm actively trying to avoid addingunnecessarily to grind slop and creatingthis sense of peopledon't feel enough. The only way that Ican be enough is if I'm permanentlypushing myself nose to the grindstoneoneas hard as possible and optimizing areasof my life that don't matter that much.Trying to contribute, trying to givepeople a varied diet when it comes tothis. And you know, if I want to go backover old stuff, I will do. And if I wantto try and have somebody on to discusssomething cuz I've kind of forgotten mysleep started to suck a little bit. I'mlike, okay, [ __ ] it. Matt Walker, spinyou back up. Let's do the greatest hits.Maybe I'll do that, too. But I'mconscious of what you're saying and it'san accurate insight and I'm I'm I'm withyou. I'm with you.Jared, you ever considered that youmight have a drinking problem?>> I don't consider a lot, Chris.>> Well, you drank an entire case ofAthletic Brewing last night.>> But they're non-alcoholic.>> And that's not a problem.>> Sorry, man.

01:07:24I I just kept chugging. Waitfor the regret to creep in. Neverhappened.See, most people like Jared don't wantto change what they drink. They justdon't want the next day to be a completewrite-off. And that is why I'm such ahuge fan of Athletic Brewing Co. Theymake the best NA brews on the planet.

01:07:44You can find Athletic Brewing Co.'sbestselling lineup at grocery or liquorstores near you. Or best option, get afull variety pack of four flavorsshipped direct to your door right now.Get 15% off your first online order bygoing to the link in the descriptionbelow or heading toathleticbwing.com/modernwisdismusing the code modernwisdom at checkout.That's athletic brewing.com/modernwisdomat modernwisdism at checkout. Near beerterms and conditions apply. Athleticbrewing company fit for all times.Bottoms up.

01:08:17J Clemo. Dude, love your work. Thankyou. I've been a listener since 2020. Ihave one pretty important question thatyou are well qualified to answer. Wouldbringing back carnage traffic lightparties solve the declining birth rate?I mean,it's got a shot.It's got a shot because we've triedwe've tried everything. Uh hungrytaxes for mothers like tax tax breaksfor mothers that that didn't work.

01:08:52I think it's got a shop. Look, for thepeople that don't know, Carnage was at-shirt bar crawl that I ran for a longtime. It's the first franchise that Iowned in the UK when I was runningnightclubs. And you wear a a sticker,green sticker on you means good to go. Aorange sticker means thinking about it.I'm not sure. And a red sticker meansI'm taken. Right? So like single,considering it, taken. And uh it justmeant that you didn't ever go up tosomebody that didn't want to havesomeone go up to them. Like you couldeven put a red one on you and I justdon't I don't want to hook up tonight orwhatever. Uhit's going to require an awful lot ofpeople to do carnage traffic lightparty. I mean we did lots those barrolls were huge like thousands andthousands of people per night. to make adent in the birth rate. We might need toscale it up. But I'm prepared to goback. If that fixes the birth rate, I'mprepared to go back into the worldof Nightlife promo.That being said, we'd be cancelledwithin days. Within days, if the sort of[ __ ] that used to happen on Carnage wasto happen again now with camera phones,it would it would not last two seconds,but it's a good idea.Er Pafi

01:10:08one best books that one mustread. Dude, I have two reading lists of100 booksand it pops up 2 minutes into everysingle episode on YouTube in the topcorner and it's in the show notes ofevery episode and I talk about it on mystory and it's my only link in bio onInstagram. Please go and download thelist of 100 books that you should readbefore you die and 100 more books thatyou should read before you die.chriswilx.combooksand chriswilx.combooks.There's five at the top of each that arelike, "Oh, those are the must-reads. Youhave to read these." And then there's 95more that are cool and some of them arefiction and some of them arenon-fiction, real life stories. And I'veI've written descriptions about why Ilike them and and links to go and buythem. And and it's available online. AndI can't believe that you've managed toslum through my content and miss it.That's a me problem. I obviously need towork harder at shoving this down yourthroats. So there you go. ChrisWilliamson, chriswilx.com/books.

01:11:10Mala78,I would love to hear your thoughts onalcohol. I see in your latest video thatalcohol is a part of your life. In thepast, you've been a strong advocate ofthe benefits of not drinking. That'strue. Yes. II went sober for a good while. I did athousand days sober. I did a bunch ofsix month sobers starting about a decadeago. It doesn't sound very revolutionarynow, but back in the day when I did thatas a nightclub promoter in his 20s, thatwas that was [ __ ] unheard of, right?Especially being in Newcastle, which iskind of the capital of drinking in theUK. Andit was really beneficial and I made alot of progress. And then I did a videoabout what I learned from a thousanddays not drinking and it was superhelpful. That being said, anybody whosays that alcohol can't make a night outbetter hasn't had a good enough nightout. Like, it absolutely can improveyour experience.The problem I had was when it felt likeI was obliged to do it or like Iwouldn't I couldn't have a good night ifI didn't do it. And I didn't like that.I didn't like being at the mercy of someThat's the same reason I did 1,000 days,sorry, I did 500 days without caffeinebecauseI didn't

01:12:25like the idea that I didn'thave control overmy energy levels without needing toartificially inseminate it withsomething else. AndI had I was on tour right aroundAustralia, New Zealand, and Bali. I'mgonna have a beer. I'm going to have twobeers after I I'm going to have aCorona. I'm going to celebrate with theguys. I was in Nashville for the 4th ofJuly 2 years ago. Like 100,000 people onBroadway. The whole streets closed down.There's a drone show and fireworks and aorchestral band playing. I'm going tohave a beer.You can make a night out better likethat. The problem is when you don't havecontrol over it. And it wasn't even thatI didn't have control. I did havecontrol. I just knew that it waslimiting the progress that I was makingcuz I was hanging out of my ass onceevery two weeks and that would mean thatmy diet got reset and I wasn't trainingfor, you know, 3 days slowly get backup. Fourth day training session kind ofsucks and then maybe I'll do somemeditation. I'll journal and then I'mback up to speed and just as I'm back upto speed I reset back to the baseline.So a lot of people the progress thatyou're looking for is at the bottom ofthe glass that you're drinking.

01:13:38Um,it's not a part of my life. I think Idrank 10 times, 20 times last year. I'llhave drank 20 times so far this year andwe're halfway through the year and it'stwo beers. Um, I'm still a strongadvocate of the benefits of notdrinking, but I'm not like an absolutiston it either.Paul Bishop 5999, what happened to themerch? It's right here. Look at this.this

01:14:11uh we've got a lot of new designs.Interestingly, Sleep Token as a band.They wear masks. Pseudonmous, anonymous.People don't supposedly don't know whothey are. Uh quite hard to work out whoit is. The designer for the merch, whichis awesome. Significantly easier to workout who it is. So, anyway, the merch iscoming soon. Uh we've got the finalsamples coming back. I'm very obsessedabout everything. CompTI metmat variant.Uh, but I'm particularly obsessive aboutthe merch because mailing it in anddoing shitty merch to me is a real touchpoint between what I've built withModern Wisdom, which has taken eightover eight years and a thousand episodesand you guys. And if you get a piece ofmerch that falls apart after a fewwashes or that's got [ __ ] print qualityor that isn't a cool design or is a badfit, that is that tarnishes yourrelationship with me and yourinterpretation of the brand so much. Ijust I it really makes me feel quite illto think about that. So,I spent a long time working on thedesigns. We're actually changing theblanks from the first release, whichwere great and everybody loved, but wewere using Comfort Colors CC1717s,

01:15:26and now we're moving to the AS colorstencilminus2s.And the reason for that isI wanted a slightly deeper black. Likethis is sort of brushed, um, whichalways gives it a bit of a weatheredfeel, which is nice. and it's a tiny bitoversized, which I also like, but Iactually wanted something that's just alittle bit more fitted, so it's a bitmore flattering on the arms and is adeeper black because I think it's goingto let the designs pop a bit more. So,this is actually on the comfort colors.And then we're going to we've got thefinal samples coming back on the AScolors. The stencil minus 2 is importantbecause AS color for me fits too long.For most people, I think it fits toolong. So, we've got like limited thecolors and like so much [ __ ] that I'm somany hoops I'm jumping through. Roundsand rounds and rounds of amends, butwe've got the next two drops done. So,once we've got this locked in, we won'tneed to wait. The first one was inNovember or October or November and thenthis one is going to be in [ __ ] Juneor something. So, I get it. It'sfrustrating. I wanted the merch outsooner, but the only reason that we'rewaiting is because I want it to beperfect. And I I hope that that comesacross and I'm trying hard and I'mworking hard.

01:16:42So that's it.Bobzilla 2006, would you ever considerdoing more episodes related to astronomyand physics? I really enjoy the episodeyou did with Professor David Kipping andwould love to see him come on to theshow again, as well as other guestswithin that area of study. Love the showand congrats on 4.2 million. Thank youvery much. I love astronomy and physics.I dumped some nerd astronomy knowledgeon George on one of our most recentepisodes. No idea if it's true, but I Ithink I was right with it. Um, I'mtrying to do this Neil deGrasse roundtable, whichmakes me so excited. The prospect ofNeil Degrasse Tyson and Mark Normand inthe same room isit's wonderful. Uh, I spoke to uh Davida couple of weeks ago. I texted himafter the Optimus thing cuz I knew hewas involved in something behind thescenes and congratulated him. That wascool. I want to bring him on. I I am notsure who's good in the world of physicsand astronomy at the moment. SabinaHosenfeld has been on twice. Mitchakucame on. Wasn't impressed with thatepisode particularly. Um, who else?Obviously Eric Weinstein, but it's notjust going to be astronomy physics. Idon't know. I don't know

01:17:57who's cool inthe the up and cominging communicationspace. So, if you've got suggestions,throw them in the comments. I'll checkthem out. Um I I love that. It's spaceand astronomy is a huge part of my uhlove for learning. So, I'm down. I'mdown. Kristoff 8188 asked before, we'llask again. I like it. Uh can we get atwo to three monthly Q&A instead? Notlinked subs. Yeah, I understand. Theunpredictability is frustrating. Uh,also sometimes I hit the subs number andI can't get round to recording becauseof the schedule. I mean, this one isgoing out. I don't know what the numberof subs is, but it's probably closer to2three than sorry to 4.3 than 4.2.Uh, sorry. I understand if we just didthem regularly that would be easier.May yes, maybe that would be nice. Ijust it's been what we've always done. Iwas doing it every 10,000, then every50,000, then every 100,000. Uh,alternatively, if you want them morefrequently, just get your friends tosubscribe. Get your f Make sure thatyou're subscribed and you'll get themmore quickly. Grab your girlfriend'sphone, quickly

01:19:12subscribe. That's for me,that seems like the the easiestsolution. I will try and speed them up.I want to do more solo stuff. Uh,I've got this beautiful new studio. Imight as well stand in it and talk aboutstuff. So, I'll try and I'll try andmake it happen more quickly. I promise.Payton Below Below Below Below LonelyChapter until financial freedom or somelarge level of success or semi- lonelychapter with some drinking and maybe agoal to enjoy my youth. Is it simply amatter of going pro and reaping prolevelresults or semi-pro and being contentwith semipro results yet actually doingthings outside of the prolevel activity?Hope that makes sense. Cheers.

01:19:57If youif you haven't listened to this podcastmuch,that sentence sounds like the ravings ofan insane person. like that isuh that is I understand what you meanand I I'm just going to assume thateveryone who's listening understandswhat you mean.Uh but that is the most modern wisdompilled sentence that I've ever read. Socongratulations. You get you getquestion of the you get question of thevideo. I'll start doing that now. Well,I'll have a question of the episode andthat is question of the episode becauseit is so deeply entrenched in the law ofmodern wisdom. Um, lonely chapter untilfinancial freedom or some large level ofsuccess. So, do you want to lock inuntil you've basically reached escapevelocity with success andor financialfreedom or go focused on work with alittle bit of time off to enjoy drinkingand maybe a girl to have some fun inyour youth? Do you go pro and get thepro results quickly or semi-pro and becontent with getting fewer results butactually enjoying stuff? Depends on yourage, dude. If you're 19, I don't thinkthat locking in super aggressively iswhere you need to

01:21:12be. I think thathaving some fun is is perfectlyacceptable. I think as you start to getlook at me like just creating arbitraryrules about the age that you need tobegin to do stuff at. You can do stuffwhenever you want, but at least if I wasto create a prescription, if I was gunto my head, you have to create one. Ithink up to about the age of 24, 25,you're probably not going to see muchdivergence between you and your friendsbased on how much you've locked in, butyou will look back and have a bigdifference on how much fun you had. Uhespecially if you're already talkingabout you're going semi-pro or semi-lonely chapter stuff like locking inquite a bit but also giving yourself abit of a break. I think that's good.Then contrarian opinion I think that youcan really [ __ ] grind it 26 27through mid30s. That is a good period.That is a great period. You've got pastthe issues of low respect because you'reyou're a young guy. So, the world's notreally going to listen to you as much asit will do when you're a little bitolder and you've got a bit of momentumand you've got some experience so youcan fully lock like really reallycapitalize on it and use some leverage.If I was you, I would try and followsomething like that. Um, but there needsto be a period of real

01:22:27monk modeing inmy experience. I don't think you canalways semi-pro it. There's a periodwhere you need to go pro becauseotherwise you're going to be beaten bypeople who are prepared to go pro. Andit doesn't it's not about being betterthan other people or whatever. But ifyou want toif you want to reach some degree ofescape velocity with success orfinancial freedom, which are the twothings that you brought up, I think thatyou need to have you need to have aperiod where you're very obsessive andreally really locked in. Pick when youwant to do it. My advice would be to gomid late 20s through early 30s. Thatworked really well for me. Uh, and otherthan that, have some fun. That's myThat's my That's my thinking.Peter Fisk 6598, will you be chatting toFinn and Horatio again? I hope so. Uh,they're definitely not both going to beleaving the UK at the same time, and I'mkind of locked in here. However, I'vegot the tour around the UK and Irelandin October and I'll probably try andbring them on then, which would be funbecause I'll be in London. I'll havesome time off around about that. Uh wehad Victoria on who's one of the writersof internet and has been on history abunch and that was fun. He was out hererecording uh no

01:23:43doing live tour doinghis standup. Uh I love Finn Horatio. Ithink Finn Versus History is one of thebest podcasts on the internet at themoment. I think it's kind ofquintessentially British. I wonder howmuch it's broken through into America. Iwould imagine only a little, but I mightbe wrong. Uh they're great. I thinkthey're ascendant and I'm I'm reallyhappy to have been a part of thatjourney for them or whatever for me.Like it's fun to see those guys unfoldeverything. The episode we did of FinnVersus the Internet I think is I thinkit's the most played one that they'veever done and it was

01:24:22deranged.It was like [ __ ] an outof bodyexperience to do, but also a lot of funand I learned tons seeing those guysoperate and they just enjoy. They'rehaving a good time. They're having agood time and that's what I'm trying todo. We're having we're trying to have agood time on the show and uh I supportthem and I I'll be bringing them back onas soon as I can.An American Jedi. Chris, when the heckare you getting a dog? I just This ispart of Big Goldentrying to This is the the themulti-pronged assault of Big Goldenconvincing me to buy a dog. I want a[ __ ] dog. Okay, I want a dog. I'mclamoring. I'm clucking. I don't knowwhether the Americans will get thatreference. Like clucking for it. I'msorry I haven't got one yet. I will dosoon. and he or she will live in thestudio with me and be a regular feature.There can be a raised dog bed behind meduring the episodes and it will lightlight it perfectly. It's this beautifulgolden glow behind get a you know the 4Kcamera zoomed in on the fur just you aregoing to be so [ __ ] sick

01:25:37of metalking about my dog. The fact thatyou're trying to get me to speedrungetting the dog, I can guarantee youthat you are going to be so pissed atthe fact I won't shut up about it onceI've got it. Enjoy this time. Enjoypre-dog Chris. Also enjoy prekids Chris,right? Because once I'm in on that, youhad better be ready for 2 years of childrearing pediatrics episodes. Okay, Ijust We're in the before times, right?BD before dog big dick.

01:26:13Uh, all right. I'm gonna leave it there.I love you all. Thank you so much forsupporting me. Uh, it means an awfullot. Don't forget to subscribe ApplePodcasts, Spotify, YouTube. ChrisWilliamson.Llive to come and see me ontour in Australia. No, in the UK andIreland toward the back end of thisyear. Newtonic.com/modernwisdismif you want to check out some of thisstuff. And chriswillex.com/booksif you want to get a list of books. Iappreciate you. Thank you for supportingme. I'll see you next time. See you.